Grief is an interesting emotion.
The world believes they grieve with you, and on many levels they do. But when the funeral is over and you have closed the door on the last guest, the true journey begins – the very deep and very personal side of grief emerges. The shocking realization of your loss becomes quite clear.
Family, friends, and loved ones have publicly mourned, therefore; they believe you are on the road to recovery and the rhythm of life has returned. We return to work and the daily routine of life. We grocery shop, sort mail, pay bills, prepare meals, mow the grass. Routine chores can be comforting; they allow us to forget ourselves for awhile.
We strive for a sense of normal, but the new normal has shifted so far that we have lost our footing and our emotional foundation can begin to crumble. We need to put our lives back in some sort of order (whatever that means) and pick up the pieces. The problem is we forget how deep the river of grief flows, and at times are overwhelmed by the intensity of the current.
The question surfaces, where do I go from here? How do I walk this walk?
I am walking the walk of grief. I lost my Mom November 11, 2009. My lovely Mother was seventy-nine yrs old and had her share of health issues over the last few years. Aging can be debilitating, but she bore it with every ounce of strength and dignity in her.
Before her health declined she was full of life. She was a strong and determined person and a major presence in my life and many others that knew her. A gale force wind of sorts – nothing seemed to blow her over, not even the early passing of her husband and my father. She had an indeterminable spirit and an unwavering faith.
So, life goes on right? Losing your Mom is one of the most significant losses of your life. I never knew something could cut so deep into my soul and penetrate every aspect of life. So, where do you go from here?
The flood gates of emotion have opened. Stay tuned for more thoughts on life, loss and mother-daughter relationships.